06 ,May, 2018

My office 2nd of May 2017 7.30pm

“Hello Kylie thank you for coming in. Would you like a coffee or water?” No thank you I’m fine.

As Kylie took a seat I said, “when we spoke on the phone you mentioned your partner Jamie had a drinking a problem and you felt he may also be using drugs. Before we get into Jamie’s use of alcohol and drugs can you give me some background as to the relationship between you and Jamie.”

Kylie went onto tell me she and Jamie had both been married and divorced before getting together some 10 years ago. There were two children aged 18 and 16 from Jamie’s first marriage, they lived with their mother and she and Jamie had a good relationship with them.

Jamie ran a successful electrical parts business which employed 30 people and Kylie was a trained nurse working 4-5 days a week as a Temp for a nursing agency. They lived in an affluent suburb and it was obvious they were financially well off.

“So tell me about Jamie’s drinking”

Kylie went on to explain that over the past 3 years Jamie’s drinking has escalated from drinking on weekends and special occasions to coming home most nights of the week and having 4-5 glasses of wine either with his dinner or both with his dinner and afterwards. I asked Kylie had she spoken to Jamie about his drinking and she said she had and his response was either, I will cut back if it ever becomes a problem or it helps me unwind after work.

I asked Kylie how Jamie’s drinking affected her and she said she found it difficult to talk to him once he had more than 2-3 drinks and on weekends she often made excuses not to go out with Jamie as she knew he would probably get drunk and this was embarrassing. She said she wasn’t sure whether Jamie was an alcoholic, however, she was sure their relationship was rapidly deteriorating. She said she loved Jamie but did not know what to do.

“You also mentioned you thought Jamie might be using drugs, what makes you think that?” Kylie went on to say that over the past 3-4 months she had noticed on several occasions Jamie appeared to by hyperactive or more animated than usual. She had not seen Jamie take any drugs nor had she found any drugs in the house or car.

We then have a discussion about executives and business people who while continuing to function at work are engaging in drinking/using either prescription or illicit drugs to a level which could lead to disastrous consequences.

I explained to Kylie this particular cohort of substance abusers are quite often in denial and for many, there is a real stigma attached to them admitting they have an issue that needs to be dealt with. Further, if you want Jamie to get the professional help you need to wait for the right time to raise the subject and we then discussed what the right time would look and feel like and how she could make it work. I also gave her a copy of my book Never Give Up and suggested once she had read it she give it to Jamie to read.

The session finished with Kylie agreeing to ring me when she had found the “Right Moment” to have a discussion with Jamie about his drinking and how it unfolded…

In my next blog you will find out how Kylie went about it and what happened and our next wellness retreat is in Bali starting the 16th of June